


Makes Sense

by Smokedcapybara



Series: (Apprentice) Park Ranger Handsome [5]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokedcapybara/pseuds/Smokedcapybara
Summary: Somehow that didn’t terrify him as much as he would’ve expected.





	Makes Sense

“What’s your favorite animal?” Connor asked as soon as Hansen sat next to him. At his look of surprise he continued. “You asked the last two cliche ice-breaker questions so I figured it was my turn.”

“Oh, um, I… like cats?”

“Really?” Connor raised an eyebrow at him. “I would’ve expected you to be more of a dog person to be honest.”

“No, def-definitely not.” Hansen cringed, “dogs are a-a lot of work? Li-like, you have to make sure they’re well fed and take them on walks regularly so they don’t pee on your floor  _ and _ you have to play with them and if they’re an energetic breed they’ll jump all over you and they just need a lot of attention and company and…” he trailed off for a moment. “But cats you just feed them and play with them and playing with them is a lot more tame - like you just need a laser pointer and you’re set - and they have litter boxes so you don’t have to take them outside every day and they’re usually satisfied just sitting in the same room as people they like so. Yeah. I prefer cats.”

“Makes sense.”

Hansen smiled lightly. “What-uh-what about you? What’s your favorite animal?”

“Probably cats too,” he shrugged, “but more cause they’re total jerks, knocking stuff over and sitting on people’s work and all of that. It’s relatable.” He ended with a smirk that grew when Hansen laughed.

“Makes sense.” Hansen was grinning and the laugh was still in his voice and it was kind of perfect.

~~~

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“Hmm?” Connor blinked open his eyes and looked over. He was laying on their log and Hansen was sitting on the ground in the corner where the log met their tree, his head leaning next to Connor’s. His half-asleep brain told him to close the distance between their faces but Hansen was mostly facing away from him so he didn’t.

It took him a moment to register the question.

“My biggest fear? I don’t know. That I’ll always inevitably hurt and drive away everyone who ever cares about me I guess.”

Hansen finally turned to face him. But Connor wasn’t in the mood to kiss him anymore.

Those sad eyes that had drawn him in when they first met were staring into his soul. He felt seen. Understood.

“Y-you won’t drive me away.” The words were spoken softly but despite that and the small stutter they felt firm, like an immutable truth had just been put into the world.

It terrified him.

“What about you?” he deflected, “what’s your biggest fear?”

Hansen looked down at his hands. “That I don’t matter. And that I’m a burden to everyone. Like, my mom works so hard to pay for my therapy and meds and she shouldn’t have to, and my dad left and now he has a better family with kids who aren’t all messed up, and… sometimes I just wish I could be normal.”

“Normal is lame.” He declared, then patted Hansen’s shoulder awkwardly until he looked back at him. He tried to put as much sincerity and conviction in his next words as he could. “You matter to me. And I don’t think you’re a burden.”

Hansen smiled lightly at him. He was blushing and Connor was pretty sure he was about to cry so he looked back up and closed his eyes again to give him some privacy.

He left his hand resting awkwardly on his shoulder though, as a reminder that he was there.

~~~

“What’s your favorite food?”

They were sitting behind their log today. Huddled up with Connor sketching and Hansen watching him. It was nice.

He didn’t hesitate on his reply this time. “Ice-cream.”

Hansen huffed a laugh into his shoulder, curling in closer to him. “What kind?”

Connor pretended to think about it until Hansen smacked him playfully. “Triple chocolate.”

Hansen pressed his face fully against Connor’s shoulder to muffle his snort.

“What? It’s delicious.” He could feel Hansen shaking against him and grinned. “What about you? What’s your favorite food?” His grin slipped into a smirk as he added, “and what’s your favorite ice-cream flavor?”

Hansen struggled to get his laughter under control enough to respond and Connor waited patiently. He loved it when he got Hansen to laugh, it made him feel like he wasn’t doomed to ruin everything he touched. Like maybe he could do and have something good for once.

“Tacos.”

He was pulled abruptly out of his thoughts and back to the present.

“Tacos?”

Hansen nodded. “Tacos.”

Connor lifted his right arm up onto the log behind Hansen’s head and turned a little more toward him. “Ok, but what about your favorite ice-cream flavor? You still have to answer that.”

~~~

“Hey. Handsome.”

“Mmm?” Hansen had his head laying in Connor’s lap and it was the most distracting thing ever.

“If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?”

Hansen turned so he was looking up at Connor, his hair mussed and eyes bleary from his short nap.  _ Correction,  _ that _ is the most distracting thing ever. _

“I don’t know, somewhere with lots of trees. Like the Amazon. Or that redwood forest near the west coast. Or the deciduous rainforest in Washington.” His voice was rough and a little deeper than usual. “What about you?”

Connor shrugged. “No idea.” It wasn’t like he could just say  _ ‘anywhere you are’ _ or  _ ‘right exactly here, because there’s literally nowhere else I’d rather be’. _

“Right.” Hansen’s eyes closed again and Connor let himself take in how relaxed he was and how beautiful he looked when he wasn’t worrying about everything.

He wanted to run his fingers through Hansen’s hair, cup his face in his hands, and kiss him more softly than he’d ever done anything in his life. He wanted to hold him close for the rest of his life. He wanted to tell him he mattered and was loved every day for the all of time. And somehow that didn’t terrify him as much as he would’ve expected.

**Author's Note:**

> honesty hour: I was planning on having some canon events in this series eventually (no death don't worry I'm not a jerk) but now I'm not sure if I want to. so that'll be fun to figure out. if any of y'all have any thoughts on whether I should just keep this a little fluffy piece of summer or if I should add some canon and some plot (with which will, of course, come some angst) please give me your opinions


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